This journey towards a healthy lifestyle is definitely not always an easy one. It is one that requires so much dedication and hard work. In the end though it will be worth every single ounce of sweat. Once I am actually at the point of reaching my goal I know that it will not stop there. This new way will be THE WAY for me from here on out. I am finding that even the smallest of changes can have a big impact on how I feel. Whether it is something small like not adding extra salt to my food or something on a much larger scale for me like exercising they all add up to me feeling better physically. That is what I am striving for. As I have said from the beginning of my journey I am not trying to get down to a certain number on the scale. That is not what this is all about. I am trying to get to a point where I feel comfortable with myself day in and day out. I am trying to get to a place where I feel physically well not sluggish and tired all of the time. I do not like the feeling of trying to do basic things and being winded. I just want to feel healthy. I am NOT going to let a number on the scale define me. I am far better than some number on the scale. There are many people that have a small number on the scale and they are very unhealthy. Don't get me wrong I am trying to lose weight, trying very hard actually. I just want people to understand that getting down to a certain number is far less important to me than feeling healthy and comfortable with myself.
Today I set off for the gym and my training session with Chris. I always look forward to my sessions. I am never 100 % sure of exactly what he is going to have me working on when I get there but I always know it will get me closer towards feeling better. Today was a great day. I am not sure that I will be able to describe to you fully what I was feeling but I am going to try. I have my first 5k coming up in a little over 5 weeks. I have told you before that I am not a runner. That is always something that I find funny considering what my goals are. When I first started practicing a few things with Chris and he wanted me to run from one side of the room to another it didn't go very well. In fact I nearly fell flat on my face. I am pretty sure I scared the heck out of him that day. I know I scared the heck out of myself. I felt defeated. I mean aren't our bodies made to run, skip and jump? I am here to tell you the answer to that is definitely NO!!!!! Running is hard. I felt so defeated that day. I felt like there is no way I am going to be able to do this. Chris was not going to let me leave that session feeling defeated. He had me work on some different things that I could do. I have told you before he is an awesome trainer. With each week that passes I just keep working and working towards getting better at the things he is teaching me. Today Chris explained what he was going to have me do. He had a circut set up and I was going to do so many reps and then a quick break and then repeat this same thing for a total of 3 times. I always give it my best shot. Each time though I tire and am completely out of breath at the end where I am actually a bit freaked out because I can not breath. Today that changed..... Today was completely different. Today I could actually see my progress!!!!! I was able to talk to him while performing all of the exercises which I have NEVER been able to do before. Today my form was better and I didn't feel like I was going to pass out when I was done. Today it didn't take me nearly as long to recover in between sets. TODAY WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could not accomplish this last week. To see myself progress is such an amazing feeling. To see my hard work pay off is wonderful. Today I saw myself do things that I could not physically do 2 weeks ago. Chris told me that he wanted me to take in how I was feeling and to remember it. He kept telling me what an awesome job I did today and what a difference he could see in me. He will always give me a fist bump as a sign of a job well done. Today was great because I knew I really earned those fist bumps.
With every step of my journey to this point my body has been changing both inside and out. There are days that I can hardly move because of the hard work I have put in to this. There are days that I can hardly make it up the stairs and I feel like I am a 90 year old woman. Those days are good days even though I feel like I have been run over by a bus. On days like that it makes me realize that I have worked very hard and my muscles are crying out to me " WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?????" Then there are days like today. Days that I can actually see myself making progress. These are the days I love most. It gives me a mental boost. I think we all need a nice mental boost now and then.
No matter what your particular journey is in life it is important to take time and celebrate your victories no matter how big or how small they might be. A victory is a victory. I think that it is important to remember that change happens slowly in most cases. Slow is good. Be sure to take it all in. Take a deep breath and do not lose sight of how this feels. When days don't go as easily look back on days like this and know that one day soon progress will be made. In the words of Dori, just keep swimming, just keep swimming!
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