That little voice inside........Don't believe it!

When I first set off on this journey towards a healthier lifestyle I knew that it was not going to be easy. I knew that it was going to take lots of hard work and determination. When it comes to eliminating certain foods from my diet that is relatively easy compared to the change in exercise.  Now I am definitely not saying that cutting back or eliminating certain foods is easy. What I mean is that for a person of my low fitness level increasing my exercise is much harder. I have had to totally revamp my life. I am at the gym 5 days a week. The time that I am there does vary depending on what I have to do that day while I am there. On days that I have Personal Training I am there longer than on the days that I do not. Exercise comes as easy as breathing to some people. I am NOT one of those people. Exercise is HARD! There are times that it hurts and I want to just stop. When I feel like this I have to take a minute and think about how far that I have come since I began this journey. I have come a LONG way.    

No matter what change you are working towards in your own life there will be periods of ups as well as periods of downs. This is all a part of life. I am finding out that even when things seem hard if you think that you can do whatever it is you are trying to do than 9 times out of 10 you will achieve whatever it is you are trying for. When I am at the gym and things are hard I think of our family friend Tony. Tony was a very healthy and athletic guy. He loved life. He LOVED the gym. He didn't understand why everyone didn't love the gym. Tony was killed in a car accident in November. When I get to a point when I feel like stopping before my time is up I think about him. It makes me smile and it also makes me find that thing inside of me that says you can do this. Exercise is physical, no doubt about that, BUT it is also mental. If you think that something is too hard you are more than likely going to quit. It is human nature. There are times during training that I almost feel that I can't do one more rep of what Chris is asking me to do. There are also times that he will ask me to do something and I think that there is NO WAY that I will ever be able to do what he just asked me to do. He told me once that he will not ask me to do anything that he does not believe that I can do. Wow! What confidence he has in me! I think I mentioned before just how awesome of a trainer I have. The thing is though is that he truly believes in me. He encourages me every single step of the way. I think that no matter what you are trying to achieve it is always great to have someone believing in you. It helps to tell that little voice in your head that is saying " There is no way you can do this!!!" to just be quiet! You can do anything that   you set your mind to!

Last week I had training on Thursday. It was a great session. I left the gym feeling like my trainer kicked my butt! I was sore, I was tired, I was out of breath and oh so very sweaty!  I knew that I left nothing there, that I had given it my all. This alone is a good feeling because just 3 months ago I could not have lasted through 1 set of exercises that Chris would have had me do. To see myself making progress it is a very nice feeling. I am convinced that if I can make these changes in my life that absolutely anyone else can to. No matter what it is that you might be working on or wanting to work on. Sometimes that hardest thing is just taking that first step.

On Friday we had to go up to the CHP Academy for a scholarship presentation. My daughter received a scholarship from the 11-99 Foundation. The drive is about 90 minutes. When I went to get out of the car I could hardly move. I thought this isn't good. The drive home was a bit longer due to traffic. When we arrived home getting out of the car was even harder. The following day it was so much worse! I was so sore and could not even sit down easily. Each move I made was hard. I was so SORE! My trainer text me wanting to set up an appointment for the upcoming week. I told him sure if I can move by then. I said my trainer tried to kill me!  He first asked me if I had knee pain. I told him no just muscle soreness and stiffness. He replied by saying good, I'm happy. I have learned that feeling sore is not a bad thing, it is actually quite the opposite. It is a good thing. It only means that I am on the road to feeling stronger. So I will be off to training this week and we will see what Chris has in store for me.


It is important to remember the old saying  " Mind over matter" .  I believe that there is so much truth to it. No matter what you might be working towards in life, weight loss, exercise, improving your health, personal goals basically anything you are trying to improve upon, those words are golden. Our minds are strange things. Little voices live inside of them that are always so happy to pop in with doubt when we are going through situations. Just remember to shut them out. We all have the strength inside to achieve what we desire. Tell that voice that says you can't to take a back seat and then show it you can!

Fresh from my Garden Friday......

I thought it would be fun to share some recipes on my blog that my family enjoys. I know that I have been lucky enough to find very good recipes on other blogs. The recipe that I am going to share today is so EASY!!!!!!! If you like zucchini then this is the perfect recipe for you. I love having a garden. When I was growing up we would go up to Vancouver, Canada to visit our relatives. My Aunt and Uncle had this wonderful garden. It took up a large corner in their yard. For my sister and brother and I it was something really neat because we didn't have a garden. Now to be honest with you I do not recall everything that was in their garden but it was really neat. I knew that when I grew up that it is definitely something that I would like to have in my yard. Having a garden is a lot of work. My garden is relatively small. It takes a lot of time to tend to it but I find the rewards of fresh vegetables far out weigh the time and care that I have to put into it. Yesterday I came in with these beauties! I had already chopped some of my basil prior to taking this picture. My basil is actually inside on my kitchen counter. I love basil and how it tastes and smells.

  I knew with zucchini like this exactly what I was going to make for dinner. I made chicken parmesan and baked zucchini topped with freshly grated parmesan cheese. My kitchen smelled heavenly!! When I was growing up my Mom would always buy fresh parmesan cheese and we would grate it and keep it in the refrigerator. There is nothing like freshly grated parmesan cheese to top off your pasta. Yummy!

To make the baked zucchini I start by lining a cookie sheet with foil. This makes clean up easier. I don't use cooking spray. Several years ago my Mom got me a kitchen gadget called Misto. It is in the above picture on the right hand side. To fill it you use what ever your oil of choice is. Then prior to using it you pump the top up and down and then you spray. It's so simple. I LOVE MY MISTO! After I line the cookie sheet I spray the foil. I cut up my zucchini and lay it out all over the cookie sheet. Next I sprinkle lightly with Sea Salt. Once that is done then I top it all with my freshly grated parmesan cheese. I pop it into the oven and bake it for 30 minutes at 350 degrees. That's it! I told you it was so easy. This is something that my family all enjoy. It is a great side dish to almost any meal.

  This is what it looks like when it comes out of the oven. With my wonderful zucchini coming in fresh from my garden we have been able to enjoy it on a regular basis.  I hope that you will give this simple recipe a try with your family. Let me know if you do and  how everyone liked it.

Getting a little extra help...It's a good thing..

Change.....Well I can say this for sure, change is not always easy. That goes for any change that you might encounter. It can be a small change or a big change. Change is change and everyone goes through things very differently. I figured I am committed to changing things in my life so that I can live a healthier lifestyle. Food is really just a part of that. As I told you before I need to add exercise in order to achieve better health. My trips to the gym started towards the end of March. I would go there and walk on the treadmill . I tried the eliptical machine and couldn't last more than 2 minutes on that thing! That was a very discouraging feeling. I noticed while I was there walking on the treadmill that there were several people working out with Personal Trainers. That is something that was intimidating to me. It is definitely something that I was not comfortable with. As I began to go into the gym a little bit more I began to get curious. I had a friend that worked in the sales office and I asked her about this one guy that I would see when I would go in. He would always say hi and comment on my Disney shirts. I had thought about just asking him a few questions to see if I might be able to learn a little bit more of the ins and outs of the gym and possibly what would be the best form of exercise for me. I ended up getting a phone call from Mark and he wanted me to come in and talk to him. I agreed. I ended up there on a Saturday morning. He walked me through a half hour work out. To be very honest with you I was pretty sure he was trying to kill me! After the work out we went into his office and talked. He asked me if I had any goals for myself. I told him that I did and we talked about them. He talked to me about the way in which having a Personal Trainer could help me reach my goals. I listened and thought about it and then decided that he was right. I knew that if I wanted to see some progress in myself, if I wanted to reach the goals that I had set for myself then I needed somebody to help me. I am not comfortable in the gym and know nothing about the benefits of the treadmill or the other machines in the gym. So I took a leap of faith and signed up that day. He told me that he was going to set me up with a great trainer. He assured me that the fit would be the perfect fit for me and my needs. So off I went on my way home. I'm not going to kid you I was more than a bit nervous about what I had just signed up for.

My very first session with my Personal Trainer was set up for Monday morning April 8th at 10:30. I really was not looking forward to it because I was very nervous and very sore from the session that I had with Mark a couple days prior to this. I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I arrived at the gym and went to the office where I met my Personal Trainer. His name is Chris. We spoke for a little bit prior to starting the work out. He asked me about myself and if I had any goals. I told him of 3 very specific and detailed goals that I had. He looked at me and confidently said " Awesome! We will get you there! " I had a good feeling about him right off the bat. We proceeded with our first session. I am not going to kid you it was HARD! My body used muscles it never knew it had. Chris spoke with me about the importance of cardio like the treadmill but also spoke of the importance of the other things he was going to have me working on. Things I never knew. I was feeling like I had made the right choice for myself asking for this extra help.

Once I got home from my first session with Chris I felt good. I felt sore but I felt good. I knew that I had put my foot forward to help myself achieve my goals and also help myself to a healthy lifestyle. I started a routine for myself of going to the gym. I am a list maker. I love lists. I love the feeling of having something to do on my list and then crossing it off once I have accomplished it. I made going to the gym a priority on my list. I knew that I had to do this so that I would start to feel better and see some progress for myself. At first it was HARD. It started to get a bit easier each day that I would go. I started to lose that uncomfortable feeling that I had at the beginning. Each week when I would meet Chris for my Personal Training session he would have me work on something new in addition to what we had worked on the week before. I always keep a positive attitude during training. Sometimes things are very hard for me. I am so out of shape. There are times that I can find myself thinking Oh my gosh this is impossible! I can not let those thoughts linger in my mind.

I knew very early on that Mark had chosen the perfect trainer for me. We had a few things in common one being my very favorite place on this entire planet, Disneyland. We talk about Disneyland often. When I am at the gym working out and it is not a day that I have a session if Chris is there and sees me he will come over and check in with me. If he doesn't have anyone he will always tell me that when I am finished with the treadmill I can come and he will work on other stuff with me. I think this is awesome! He does this on his own time because he just wants to help his clients out. Did I mention to you that he is awesome? Most days after I am at the gym I am so sore. As the day moves on into evening I can hardly move. This shows me as a daily reminder how out of shape that I am in. I am not expecting any miracle cures. It took me a long time to get into this shape and it feels awful. I know it is going to take me a LONG time to get out of this shape too.I try to remember this as I get up to walk up my stairs and have to move like I am an 85 year old woman. I just have to keep focused on the thought that with each day I will continue to take steps towards a healthier life.

I am feeling better with each day that passes. I am trying to stay focused on my 3 main goals. I keep them up front in my mind each and everyday. The goals that I am working towards will take hard work and dedication.I will talk more about my goals in another post. I know though that with each step that I take and with each little change that I make on a daily basis it will all lead me down the path to good health.

Changing my life one step at a time.....

Exercise is not something that I have ever enjoyed. I didn't enjoy PE in school. I wasn't into sports. I liked to dance and I liked to ice skate and roller skate but those activities were not considered exercise. They were meant for fun. I was a member of the swim team and I loved it. To me swimming was fun and I never once considered it exercise.  I can remember dreading most things about PE, except for square dancing. I enjoyed that. Back in the days I was growing up I don't remember many gyms or really much made about fitness. It wasn't until I was close to 20 that I can remember the Recreation Center holding Jazzercise classes. I did take the occasional Jazzercise class with some of my co-workers. It was OK but I didn't enjoy the fact that I got sweaty. I remember when people started walking for exercise. I guess people always walked for exercise but I mean it became a really big thing to do. I know that my Mom did it. I did it occasionally. Back during this time I was not over weight and I didn't consider myself to be unfit. I could pretty much eat what I wanted and I was fine.  Oh how I miss those times. With that being said it is never like I would just go eat huge amounts of junk food or sweets but I would be able to actually eat a meal and have dessert and not feel like I had done anything that I was going to have to pay for. That is really how things should be. You should be able to enjoy your life and not feel guilty about anything you put into your mouth.

There are people that can eat whatever they want and not exercise and never gain 1 pound. I have to say good for them!! I do not fall into this category. I fall into a completely different category. It is the category that I am going to call " If I even look at that I'm going to gain 5 pounds. " Now people might think well how is that possible?  I have to say it really is not possible but it feels like a real category to me. I am a lot like my Dad. I told you how I feel about him and I'm great with being like him in any way. But what I mean in this instance is that he loves sweets. OK so I will just say it, we both have a sweet tooth. There said it, it's out there. I am positive that we are not the only 2 people to have this sweet tooth issue. Now I never go around just eating sweet thing after sweet thing after sweet thing. It's just my down fall. I have always hated how diets make a person cut everything out of their normal routine. Hey life happens! There will be parties or events and cake or other sweets will be there. A person, any person should be able to have a small treat. Treats add a little something to life. They can top off a party or a special occasion, much like pumpkin pie after Thanksgiving dinner. As with anything in life too much of a good thing isn't always good. Moderation is the key. Sweets in moderation are fine. For the people out there that I will refer to as diet monitors get this through your head, treats in moderation are fine!!

I came to realize after I had made major changes to my eating plan by eliminating different things and counting calories and having very slow progress on the scale that I needed to add something to my plan. I bet you can guess straight off what that something is. To me it is a word that I do not like!  It is something that I do not enjoy........Here it is.. I needed to add in some EXERCISE.........Uggghhhhh!!!

The above saying made me laugh. It had some truth to it. The line that says I don't exercise. Well I don't and there is no getting away from that. I just figured that is the thing I am missing. There is much talk about metabolism and slow metabolism. It is not an excuse. It is a fact that some people have slow metabolisms. I am one of those people. I do not enjoy going to the gym. It is not a comfortable place for me. It is a place filled with very fit people that know exactly what they are doing there. It is a place where I feel out of place. Unfortunately it is the place that I need to be right now. It is the place that I need to commit to spending some time if I want to see the scale drop. I do not expect miracles. I will not be turning into a gym rat that spends hours a day inside the gym. I do not have that kind of desire or time to spend there. I will not be that person on the treadmill acting like they are racing me as I am walking and they are running. I will not be walking around the place throwing my gym bag down loaded with God knows what as I strut around the place acting like I own it. Trust me there are people that do this at the gym. I will be the one that is on the treadmill trying her best to keep up with the 3.0 speed with out falling off or passing out. I'm there for the exercise I have not been doing but that I need to see a a little drop on the scale. Did I mention that I HATE sweating?????????

I have been thinking a lot about the changes that I am working on in my life.  I have a wonderful family. My parents are both great people. I can say hands down that my sister and brother and I are very lucky to have them as our parents. They have always worked very hard to provide us with the right tools in life so that we would become the people  that we are today. I am the oldest of 3 children. My sister is 3 years younger than I am but she is many years wiser than I am sometimes. I remember once a boy was bothering her and teasing her in school, I think she was only in the second grade at the time. I clearly remember pushing him up against the wall and telling him to leave her alone. I did this again when we were both in High School and some kid was bugging her on the bus on a band trip. Nobody can mess with my sister! Period end of story. Stephanie has always supported me with my weight. She has told me time and time again not to listen to what other people say. Don't worry about what other people, including family members think about your weight. It is what is inside that matters. Smart girl my sister! She is after all a college graduate and a teacher. My brother Patrick is the youngest.  He is also a very smart guy. He has a BS Degree and a Masters Degree. He is a very athletic person and sets a great example for his kids. He has always offered to help me in any way that he can with my pursuit of a healthy life.


 My husband Chris is ALWAYS supportive of me no matter what my weight is. He simply does not care because he loves me for who I am and not what size I am. I am very lucky. Then I have my 3 daughters, Tiffany, Alissa and Holly. These girls are the lights of my life. They are the best things I have ever done. All 3 girls are always supportive of me and whether I am trying to lose weight or not it does not matter to them one bit. I am their Mom and they only want me to be happy. They too love me for who I am inside and not what everyone else sees. I also have the best nieces and nephews on the face of this planet. Next to my own kids these 5 kids are among the best things in my life. I want to be around for a very long time to enjoy all of my family. If I stay right where I have been I might not be that lucky. Yet another reason to go to the gym and get some exercise.

I think the first step in setting myself up for some success is to believe in myself. I have to believe in myself. I am the person that has the work to do. I am the only person that can do this. I have to believe that I will be able to achieve some success with my plan. Many times in life with change comes more change and more change and so on. It's like once you make that first move then the next time things get a little easier and the next change will follow. So here I am off on this journey of a healthier life. I am sure that things are not going to be easy. In fact I pretty much know they are going to get harder before they get better but I've got my positive attitude all packed up and am carrying it with me wherever I go. I have heard somewhere before that a journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step. Well her I go  off on my journey and taking my first step.........

My journey begins here.....

The Webster Dictionary defines the word dream as follows:

dream: An idea or image present in the sleeping mind. Something greatly desired. Something excellent or very beautiful. To contemplate, imagine or long for something.

When I decided to start this blog I was thinking about what I would like to call it. Many things came to my mind. The one name that I kept coming back to was A Dream in the Making. It seemed to suit the reasons behind why I wanted to start this blog. I think that everybody has dreams. They come in all different shapes and sizes. There is no dream out there that is too big or too small. I have many dreams. I am sure that I am not alone in that department. I believe that there are some things we talk about with others and then there are some things that we don't talk about to anyone not even our family or our best friend or anyone. Sometimes we just need to wait until the time is right for us to share things. I think this blog is a great way for me to have everything written down. I can use it as a reference point so to speak and always refer back to it. It could also be helpful to anyone that might be going through the same things as I am. 

My friend  recently started a blog about her life and some of the very important changes that she has been making for herself and her family. I enjoy reading her posts as she explains what is working for her. She explains many things in her blog that are very informative. I think it is a great way to inspire others that might be going through the same things as you are and to also provide people with information that they may be unaware of. Her blog does both of these things.

 I have struggled with my weight for 24 years now. I often times feel very uncomfortable in social situations because of my weight. I never feel that I look nice no matter how hard I try. I feel that there is  always someone thinking " Should she be eating that? " It doesn't matter what I am eating that thought just seems to creep into my mind. The sad thing is that people, no matter what their size should be able to eat whatever they want without thinking about what others are thinking. Weight is just a number on a scale. It does not determine who you are. Sometimes people seem to forget that. I have been a person of average weight and a person that is overweight. I am the same person no matter what that number on the scale says. It is sad that I have allowed other people to make me feel otherwise.

My oldest daughter will be getting married in December. This is something that is very exciting. I am looking forward to this time in her life. I am definitely not looking forward to one aspect of the wedding and also the showers that go with the wedding. Pictures.....I do not like to get my picture taken. To me it shows me as others see me, which is the way I am , overweight . It is not as if I have lived my life for the past 24 years thinking " Joyful, joyful I'm overweight and I love it! " I have tried many times and many different things to lose weight. It is a very hard thing to do. I'm not making any excuses. I have tried things before some have worked some have not. I will go along for awhile and then when there is no progress I give up. I would really love to be able to enjoy all of my daughters wedding events, including the pictures and feel good about myself. I would love to feel healthy. I do not feel the need to be some skinny girl. I would love nothing more than to feel healthy. To me there is a difference between losing weight and feeling healthy. Obviously to get there I have to lose weight. There is nobody that can do that for me. It is my dream after all and I have to do everything possible to achieve it. This is where one of my many dreams starts. Realizing that I have to do whatever it takes to get healthy. The number on the scale will have to go down. It will not happen over night. It will take time. It will take hard work and it will take dedication. I will have to be of the mind set that if I lose 1 pound it is 1 pound less than I was before. I can not be unhappy if the scale moves slowly towards my goal. I just have to be happy with changes that I am making in my everyday life to get healthy. That's the thing I am going for. To be healthy and live a very happy long life with my family is so important to me.

 I will have to always remember this picture. When I feel like " I only lost 1 pound! " One pound of fat looks AWFUL GROSS! Earlier this year I started to make big changes in what I eat and what I drink. I used to drink soda all of the time. Particularly Diet Pepsi. I would drink it when I first got up and then all day long. My Dad was a huge Diet Pepsi drinker too. My Dad, well he is my hero. Always has been and always will be. He has survived a huge battle with cancer. He had cancer of the esophagus. He went through an intense radiation and chemo treatment. We thought he was cancer free until last year right before Christmas. He had to have surgery in January to remove most of his esophagus and stomach. He had many complications from this. He is doing well now, thank God! He had told me that the doctor said that drinking Diet Pepsi was really bad. I saw what he was going through and thought this is it. This is what I need to cut out right now! I did. It was very hard for me at first because I loved it. With each day that passed it got a little easier and a little easier. To me this was a victory in itself!


The next step for me was one that I decided not to share with anyone. I have many reasons behind why I didn't want to share what I was going to work on next. Like I shared before I have been over weight for a very long time. I can't even begin to count the number of times I have shared with my family and friends that I was going to go on a diet. I am sure it got to the point where they would think to themselves, " OK sure. We will see how long this lasts. " I had some success with dieting in the past but to me the most defeating thing I would hear people say to me is " Good job. Just stick to it. " It was almost like we know you will never be able to stick to it. It was something that I had heard many times. I know that nobody ever meant to hurt my feelings with those words but they did get hurt none the less.

I am on a very long journey towards good health. I started by getting rid of the soda from my life. The next step is my weight loss journey. It has to start here plain and simple. I have followed the Weight Watchers program many, many times in the past. It is a great program and does work very well for many people. It just does not work well for me. I have changed my food by eliminating many things. I avoid processed foods now. There is so much in the processed foods that is terrible for your health. I do not eat out often. I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner as well as a morning snack and an afternoon snack. I drink water, water and more water. I also enjoy tea and I drink that in hot form as well as iced. I just eliminate sugar or sugar substitutes. The sugar substitutes such as Sweet and Low or Splenda are not good for you. My Doctor has told me that you are far better off adding a little bit of real sugar to something than you are adding a Sugar substitute. I will go along with what he recommends. He has a Medical Degree so I trust his input on this.

I started this weight loss journey at the beginning of the year. The weight came off very, very slowly. It was very frustrating to me. My husband was following the same eating plan as I was and his weight was coming off very quickly. I was happy for him. I just realized I was going to have to do something other than just change my diet and caloric intake. I needed to boost my metabolism.......I need to add some exercise to my life. Just so you know I hate exercise! It has never been my thing, not even when I was an average weight. I do not like to sweat!!!!! We have had a membership to the gym for several years. It is basically something that we use rarely. I might go to the gym when I am trying to lose weight once in a blue moon and maybe go 2 times in one week then drop to 1 time every other week then drop it all completely. I reached the point where I finally realized I need to add something to my life other than just cutting calories. So it began my brand new routine. I would walk on the treadmill. I would stay for 45 minutes to an hour. I would be sweaty and remember I do not like to sweat. I got a good look at the other people that were in the gym working out. There are people there of all shapes and sizes as well as different fitness levels. I just got my towel, put my water in the holder, turned on my ipod and started walking. I will not try to spruce this up. I did not enjoy it. It was not something I felt comfortable with. It was something though that I knew I had to do.

So my dream of a healthy lifestyle includes my weight loss journey as well as a fitness journey. I have to combine the two into one. I know there are many people that can work on one journey without the other but I need the added boost of physical activity and ugh...sweat. I love the picture from above. Everybody has to start somewhere. Every journey begins with the first steps to get there. If I want to achieve my dream of weight loss and good health I have to start here. I have a very long way to make this dream a reality but I am working very hard to make this dream come true. I needed to get into my mind you don't have to be great to start. But you have to start to be great... We shall see how this progresses...