Committing to your goals and finding the strength inside to achieve them.....It's scary.......It's even scarier to let others know exactly what your goals are!

When I first started my blog I spoke about dreams. I think that dreams come in all different shapes and sizes. Some are easily obtained while others take much time and blood, sweat and tears. They vary from person to person. Also the way in which we choose to share are dreams differ greatly from person to person. When I embarked on this journey of change and striving to achieve a healthier lifestyle I made 3 very specific goals. I have only shared these goals with a small group of people. I did not want to disclose my dreams only to fail. I have failed many times in the past at many different things. I am certain that we all have. I am not alone in this category.  I just needed to get to a place where I felt comfortable sharing my goals with others. I first shared these goals with my husband and daughters. I was a little bit nervous because they have seen me succeed but they have also seen the other side. When I told them they were all very happy and very supportive. The next step for me was when I signed up  with my Personal Trainer. At my first meeting with him he asked me if I had any goals. I told him all 3 goals. While we were talking he commented that I had 3 goals all with 3 specific dates. He told me that is a good thing. It helps to have specifics when working towards things. It took me a much longer time to get to this point. The point that I am ready to share my goals with others. I first knew that I needed to share this with my family. I had an opportunity recently to share this with my parents and my brother and sister-in-law and then shortly after that with my sister. I was very nervous because as I have mentioned before these people have lived my life with me and heard me say countless times how I was working to lose weight and the end result was always the same, failure. Well this time failure is NOT an option. 

The goals that I have set for myself are ones that I am totally NOT comfortable with. I have actually never done anything like it before.  The road to making these goals a reality is a VERY, VERY LONG ROAD!  It requires so much time and dedication to get there. It is also something that I know  means so much to me. The first thing you should know before I fill you in on my goals is that I am not a runner. I never have been. My brother is the runner of the family. He is an AWESOME runner. He has run in the Boston Marathon 3 times not to mention countless other marathons. That being said when I actually set my goals I knew that I was way outside my comfortable box. When meeting with my Trainer that first day he asked me about my goals. This is what I told him. I have 3 specific goals. I named them off for him in date order.

1. I want to run in the Peace Officer Memorial 5k in honor of my friend CHP Officer Earl Scott. That date is September 22, 2013.

2. I want to feel comfortable with myself and feel comfortable in pictures at my daughter's wedding. That date is December 7, 2013.

3. I want to run  in the Tinkerbell Half Marathon. That date is january 19. 2014.

My trainer looked at me and said with complete confidence, " AWESOME!" We are going to get you there! He is very supportive but also works me very hard. The picture from below is one that makes me laugh because  it basically suited me. I saw it on my friends blog and I knew that I was going to use it here.  I also want to say to my friends that may be reading this, I was not trying to keep my goals a secret. To me I had to feel comfortable with myself before I felt comfortable enough to share this. You all know that I am not exactly the poster girl for any of these things. I knew that none of you would be judgmental. It is just a really big commitment for me and I needed to get to this point before I could share this.

For those of you that might not know much about me I wanted to share why these specific goals are so important to me. First of all, as I am sure is the case with all of you, my family means everything to me. They are the reason I do everything that I do. So obviously the upcoming wedding is something that means the world to me. I am also a very proud Law Enforcement wife. My husband has been a Law Enforcement Officer since I met him. It has always been our life. It is a life that has brought us great joy, great friends and sadly, great sorrow. Our friend was murdered in the line of duty. Last year a very good friend of mine ran in the Peace Officer Memorial Run to honor him. I was at the finish line as she finished. To say that she inspired me is a complete under statement. I know just how emotional it was for her. I also knew how hard she worked to run in this race. I decided right then and there that I knew it was something that I wanted to participate in. I was not sure when I would do it but I knew that I wanted to. Lastly running in the Tinkerbell Half Marathon, this is a HUGE one for me. I actually spoke about wanting to do this on my old blog nearly 2 years ago. I happened to be in Disneyland for the CHA Convention a couple of years ago when they ran the Innagural Tinkerbell Half Marathon. I LOVE all thing Disney. Disneyland is my most favorite place to be on this entire planet. I have Disney way down deep in my soul. It is as much a part of me as breathing is. That is why I wanted to participate in this event. 

I realize that the goals I have set out for myself are big ones. I have to remain positive and think that I can do this! When I told my parents and brother and sister in law what my goals were I wanted them to know that I was serious about this. It was not something that I was going to just say I wanted to do and then never follow through. I told them how proud that I am of all of them. I said I just wanted to do something so that they would be proud of me. To me it was emotional. I felt good though because I got it out. I told them what I was working towards. They are all very supportive of me.

I am sure that there will be some people that think I will never be able to do this. I can't let those few stop me or discourage me. I have to believe in myself. I have to know without a doubt that no matter what anybody else thinks or feels I am doing this. There is no stopping me.  I decided that now is the right time to talk about this. I have officially signed up for both the Peace Officer Memorial 5k and the Tinkerbell Half Marathon! This is HUGE for me!!!!!

I am in no way shape or form a runner. Running is HARD!!!!!!!!!! I hope that I can continue down the path towards my goals and with each step of the way get a little bit better. I hope that maybe there might be somebody that reads this blog and can draw a little inspiration from it. In life I think that everyone is going through something maybe not the same something as I am but still something. I have found that making changes can be very scary. I think for me letting other people know is even scarier. I will do my best and that's all I can do.