My journey begins here.....

The Webster Dictionary defines the word dream as follows:

dream: An idea or image present in the sleeping mind. Something greatly desired. Something excellent or very beautiful. To contemplate, imagine or long for something.

When I decided to start this blog I was thinking about what I would like to call it. Many things came to my mind. The one name that I kept coming back to was A Dream in the Making. It seemed to suit the reasons behind why I wanted to start this blog. I think that everybody has dreams. They come in all different shapes and sizes. There is no dream out there that is too big or too small. I have many dreams. I am sure that I am not alone in that department. I believe that there are some things we talk about with others and then there are some things that we don't talk about to anyone not even our family or our best friend or anyone. Sometimes we just need to wait until the time is right for us to share things. I think this blog is a great way for me to have everything written down. I can use it as a reference point so to speak and always refer back to it. It could also be helpful to anyone that might be going through the same things as I am. 

My friend  recently started a blog about her life and some of the very important changes that she has been making for herself and her family. I enjoy reading her posts as she explains what is working for her. She explains many things in her blog that are very informative. I think it is a great way to inspire others that might be going through the same things as you are and to also provide people with information that they may be unaware of. Her blog does both of these things.

 I have struggled with my weight for 24 years now. I often times feel very uncomfortable in social situations because of my weight. I never feel that I look nice no matter how hard I try. I feel that there is  always someone thinking " Should she be eating that? " It doesn't matter what I am eating that thought just seems to creep into my mind. The sad thing is that people, no matter what their size should be able to eat whatever they want without thinking about what others are thinking. Weight is just a number on a scale. It does not determine who you are. Sometimes people seem to forget that. I have been a person of average weight and a person that is overweight. I am the same person no matter what that number on the scale says. It is sad that I have allowed other people to make me feel otherwise.

My oldest daughter will be getting married in December. This is something that is very exciting. I am looking forward to this time in her life. I am definitely not looking forward to one aspect of the wedding and also the showers that go with the wedding. Pictures.....I do not like to get my picture taken. To me it shows me as others see me, which is the way I am , overweight . It is not as if I have lived my life for the past 24 years thinking " Joyful, joyful I'm overweight and I love it! " I have tried many times and many different things to lose weight. It is a very hard thing to do. I'm not making any excuses. I have tried things before some have worked some have not. I will go along for awhile and then when there is no progress I give up. I would really love to be able to enjoy all of my daughters wedding events, including the pictures and feel good about myself. I would love to feel healthy. I do not feel the need to be some skinny girl. I would love nothing more than to feel healthy. To me there is a difference between losing weight and feeling healthy. Obviously to get there I have to lose weight. There is nobody that can do that for me. It is my dream after all and I have to do everything possible to achieve it. This is where one of my many dreams starts. Realizing that I have to do whatever it takes to get healthy. The number on the scale will have to go down. It will not happen over night. It will take time. It will take hard work and it will take dedication. I will have to be of the mind set that if I lose 1 pound it is 1 pound less than I was before. I can not be unhappy if the scale moves slowly towards my goal. I just have to be happy with changes that I am making in my everyday life to get healthy. That's the thing I am going for. To be healthy and live a very happy long life with my family is so important to me.

 I will have to always remember this picture. When I feel like " I only lost 1 pound! " One pound of fat looks AWFUL GROSS! Earlier this year I started to make big changes in what I eat and what I drink. I used to drink soda all of the time. Particularly Diet Pepsi. I would drink it when I first got up and then all day long. My Dad was a huge Diet Pepsi drinker too. My Dad, well he is my hero. Always has been and always will be. He has survived a huge battle with cancer. He had cancer of the esophagus. He went through an intense radiation and chemo treatment. We thought he was cancer free until last year right before Christmas. He had to have surgery in January to remove most of his esophagus and stomach. He had many complications from this. He is doing well now, thank God! He had told me that the doctor said that drinking Diet Pepsi was really bad. I saw what he was going through and thought this is it. This is what I need to cut out right now! I did. It was very hard for me at first because I loved it. With each day that passed it got a little easier and a little easier. To me this was a victory in itself!


The next step for me was one that I decided not to share with anyone. I have many reasons behind why I didn't want to share what I was going to work on next. Like I shared before I have been over weight for a very long time. I can't even begin to count the number of times I have shared with my family and friends that I was going to go on a diet. I am sure it got to the point where they would think to themselves, " OK sure. We will see how long this lasts. " I had some success with dieting in the past but to me the most defeating thing I would hear people say to me is " Good job. Just stick to it. " It was almost like we know you will never be able to stick to it. It was something that I had heard many times. I know that nobody ever meant to hurt my feelings with those words but they did get hurt none the less.

I am on a very long journey towards good health. I started by getting rid of the soda from my life. The next step is my weight loss journey. It has to start here plain and simple. I have followed the Weight Watchers program many, many times in the past. It is a great program and does work very well for many people. It just does not work well for me. I have changed my food by eliminating many things. I avoid processed foods now. There is so much in the processed foods that is terrible for your health. I do not eat out often. I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner as well as a morning snack and an afternoon snack. I drink water, water and more water. I also enjoy tea and I drink that in hot form as well as iced. I just eliminate sugar or sugar substitutes. The sugar substitutes such as Sweet and Low or Splenda are not good for you. My Doctor has told me that you are far better off adding a little bit of real sugar to something than you are adding a Sugar substitute. I will go along with what he recommends. He has a Medical Degree so I trust his input on this.

I started this weight loss journey at the beginning of the year. The weight came off very, very slowly. It was very frustrating to me. My husband was following the same eating plan as I was and his weight was coming off very quickly. I was happy for him. I just realized I was going to have to do something other than just change my diet and caloric intake. I needed to boost my metabolism.......I need to add some exercise to my life. Just so you know I hate exercise! It has never been my thing, not even when I was an average weight. I do not like to sweat!!!!! We have had a membership to the gym for several years. It is basically something that we use rarely. I might go to the gym when I am trying to lose weight once in a blue moon and maybe go 2 times in one week then drop to 1 time every other week then drop it all completely. I reached the point where I finally realized I need to add something to my life other than just cutting calories. So it began my brand new routine. I would walk on the treadmill. I would stay for 45 minutes to an hour. I would be sweaty and remember I do not like to sweat. I got a good look at the other people that were in the gym working out. There are people there of all shapes and sizes as well as different fitness levels. I just got my towel, put my water in the holder, turned on my ipod and started walking. I will not try to spruce this up. I did not enjoy it. It was not something I felt comfortable with. It was something though that I knew I had to do.

So my dream of a healthy lifestyle includes my weight loss journey as well as a fitness journey. I have to combine the two into one. I know there are many people that can work on one journey without the other but I need the added boost of physical activity and ugh...sweat. I love the picture from above. Everybody has to start somewhere. Every journey begins with the first steps to get there. If I want to achieve my dream of weight loss and good health I have to start here. I have a very long way to make this dream a reality but I am working very hard to make this dream come true. I needed to get into my mind you don't have to be great to start. But you have to start to be great... We shall see how this progresses...